THE WEEK THAT WAS….
Politics isn’t what it used to be. The sight of Messrs Paisley and McGuinness chuckling all the way to the Division Lobbies was unsettling enough, but the new Nick & Dave show now airing on Channel No.10 is possibly even more bizarre. If the ‘season launch’ of this Rom Com is anything to go by, this mightn’t be the flash-in-the-pan dalliance the cynics are predicting.
Karl von Clausewitz said that war is merely the continuation of politics by other means. One rather suspects that coalition government is merely party politics by an alternative method. Peter Robinson predicted that Government with Sinn Fein would be a ‘battle a day’ – the Tories and Liberals aren’t there yet, but the time will surely come. The mutually self assured destruction which would ensue from an early election held in the after burn of stinging public sector cuts and tax rises should, however, be incentive enough to keep the show on the road until those elusive green shoots start appearing.
The emergence of the Coalition has, though, put pay to the prospects of Northern Ireland MPs (at least those who show up) punching above their weight in a hung Parliament. The somewhat fanciful and grubby notion that we were going to be spared the pain of the rest of the UK by selling our votes to the highest bidder (£200m was apparently the asking price) now looks as likely as Gordon Brown giving classes on voter empathy. The message from the Treasury is now likely to be ‘Suck it up’.
To compensate, MLAs were getting rather excited about cutting Corporate Tax in much the same way as those who discovered the wonder drug that is penicillin. MLA after MLA regurgitated the findings of the Economic Reform Group’s report that cutting the rate was NI’s only way to break its addiction to the public sector (a bit like enjoying Whopper Burgers too much – nice at the time, but ultimately unsatisfying and artery clogging).
Finance Minister Sammy Wilson, was on hand, however, with a suitably large bucket of cold water. Over six years the scheme would cost the Executive £1bn and take 11 years to pay for itself. Even the magical powers of ‘New Politics’ doesn’t extend to creating something out of nothing. Back to the drawing board boys.
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
Oral Answers
Jnr Minister Gerry Kelly addressed queries about Children & Young People, the Deputy First Minister reiterated his opposition to any cuts in the block grant, revealed that his and the FM’s recent trip to Washington cost £58,455. He also declined to specify what exactly “sectarian harassment” means in the upcoming parades legislation.
The DETI Minister confirmed that she has no plans or powers to interfere with the sale of First Trust Bank by AIB and noted that Invest NI has spent £73m supporting the local agri-food sector since 2002. The Environment Minister couldn’t confirm if RPA would happen next year and Assembly Commission questions revealed that up to 25 Bills could be introduced at Stormont over the coming months.
Written Answers
Not much this week; MLAs have been too busy canvassing to ask questions. OFMDFM noted, however, that the Maze Development Corporation is still to be formed, DCAL revealed that Belfast’s library services cost £5.5m annually to run and DEL disclosed that apprenticeships have almost doubled in the past five years to c.7,000 places.
According to Health almost nine out of every thousand children in Belfast are on the Child Protection Register, Justice confirmed that 53 prison officers were assaulted last year and DRD confirmed that NI Water faces an eye watering £1.65bn bill over the next twenty years to bring its infrastructure up to EU standards.
COMMITTEES
DRD strapped itself in to consider a Roads Bill, Environment was concerned about Planning Service staff redeployment and DSD bunkered down for two sessions on the Welfare Bill. DEL was picking NEETs out of its hair, DFP was reviewing the Budget process and OFMDFM was still dawdling along over the Older People’s Commissioner Bill.
DETI got out the popcorn for NI Screen’s strategy, DCAL pondered library provision in Belfast, DARD decanted to the Balmoral Show while Justice considered Tribunal Reform along with a briefing on the Prison Service.
AND FINALLY….
Owen Patterson, the new NI SoS, is promising that Northern Ireland will take its fair share of upcoming cuts in the UK’s budget, but that they won’t be drastic. He’s also confirmed that Dave ‘PM’ Cameron is still planning to visit Northern Ireland shortly to view the wreckage of our bloated, state subsidized economy- still, that’s in marginally better shape than his pact with the UUP.
Tales of UCUNF’s demise may, however, have been premature. Despite running a campaign which would have embarrassed a Jnr High Classroom President election, UCUNF still managed to attract over 100K votes. With more new faces, some more time and an Idiots’ Guide to Electioneering, they might actually do quite well at next year’s Assembly election if the much vaunted Dave effect comes back into play.
