Stakeholder

THE WEEK THAT WAS…. Ben Hecht, the 19th Century screenwriter, novelist and producer – known to some as the ‘Shakespeare of Hollywood – once said that: “Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.”   I can’t [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS…. Next week about 2m public sector workers across the UK are expected to strike, causing mayhem and annoyance to all and sundry.  Surprisingly though, some MLAs have decided that in the interests of solidarity with the proletariat they will be boycotting Stormont to avoid crossing the picket line.  Long live the [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS…. Sad news this week from West Africa – the Black Rhino has been declared extinct throughout the entire region.  There are also concerns that a subspecies of White Rhino has also disappeared from Central Africa. On a much more positive note, however, the White Elephant of West Tyrone has also been [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS…. SDLP delegates gearing up to choose their illustrious new leader should spend time studying the fortunes of the UUP since it elected Tom Elliott leader in the wake of poor election results. Shuffling faces at the top has yet to pay dividends with the electorate or change perceptions that the party [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS…. Northern Ireland’s Deputy First Minister (the usual one, not the one currently minding shop while the incumbent knocks off down south for a very extensive coach tour).  All his life he’s been pestered by those ‘pesky Brits’. It’s bad enough there’s an ‘occupying force’ in the six counties and having to [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS…. “108 Green and Orange MLAs sitting on the wall, 108 Green and Orange MLAs sitting on the wall, and if 12 Orange and Green MLAs should accidently fall, there’ll be 98 Green and Orange MLAs sitting on the wall.” It wouldn’t be like the Northern Ireland Assembly to spend hours navel [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS Plans to turn the Stormont Estate into Northern Ireland’s most stylish Golf & Spa Resort took a dramatic step forward this week as US Open winner Rory McIlroy cast his expert eye over the proposed putting green outside Stormont Castle (aka the 19th Hole). Other holes, however, quickly appeared in the [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS John Hume was the Mr. Wu of Northern Ireland politics; he of the Chinese laundry fame immortalised by George Formby and his infernal banjo.  The architect of the peace process devised a clever contraption known as the Belfast Agreement which promised to sort out Northern Ireland’s dirty washing.  Throw it all in, [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS Ian Paisley Jnr MP, the Honorable Member for North Antrim and former Assembly Member, has never been one to trade on a reputation of ‘winning friends and influencing people’.  If there’s a choice between a clever put down or a tactful response, the default position is to unleash the tongue, a [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS After the catastrophe of the count for the recent Assembly election, the Electoral Office has deployed a cunning new plan to ease the pain of counting all those crosses.  Just make sure no-one votes. Clever, eh? Such was their zeal for this revolutionary take on the democratic process they even roped [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS Another sleepy week at Stormont as the House meanders its way to a gentle flurry of activity before disappearing in July – rather like British attempts to win Wimbledon.  Ears did prick up though at the sound of a debate about underachievement in Protestant working class areas.  Somewhat indulgent of the [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS “Oh I do like to be beside the seaside, oh I do like to be beside the sea.  I do like to stroll upon the Prom, Prom, Prom, where the brass bands play Tiddely-om-pom-pom!” Ok, so not Newcastle, Ballyhome or Cranfield which have failed to meet even the most basic of [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS Did you miss it?  Are they as forgettable as this year’s Eurovision winner? Are you that fickle?  Unrequited love is a terrible thing, but fortunately for you, the Northern Ireland Assembly is going to give you at least another four years to learn to love the institution. It has taken the [...]

THE WEEK THAT WAS To corrupt Frank Sinatra – “Ups, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention”. Two hundred and seventy seven plenary sittings, some 69 Bills, over 11,624 Oral Questions and 32,411 Written Questions; here endeth the mandate of the 2007–2011 Northern Ireland Assembly. Phew – thank goodness that’s over. [...]